Victories

This past year has been so healing. God provided me with a better paying job, buy a car of my dreams, taken me through many healing encounters, given me the tools to teach my boys the importance of healing, given me visions, shown me exactly how far the East is from the West, and how to embrace my new life.

For the first time I feel alive and happy. There is so much peace within me. I have taught my boys the importance of journaling and how safe it is to write everything down. Last week my younger son came to me with a piece of paper in hand all folded up. He asked if we could burn his letter. The reason for the burning is to completely release what ever it is that you wrote so that know one else knows but you and God. This is freeing. You are no longer bottling up what is bothering you. As a mother I wanted to know what he wrote down to help him through but he did not want to tell me. I asked for a moment and walked away to prayer for strength and for the right words to speak to him. Once I came back, we walked to the fireplace, said a prayer and burned his paper. This was safe for him.

Took my boys to the Rock & Worship Roadshow last Friday. It was amazing. There was this father with his boys who sat four rows ahead of us. This dad was really getting into the music and dancing with his boys. The boys also shared time on the dads shoulders. What a precious sight to see. However, this was a grieving moment for my older son. My older son's dad is an alcoholic and has chosen his drinking over Tyler all of his life. Tyler and his dad recently had a major falling out, which left Tyler telling his dad to never call him again and to stay out of his life. As we were driving home from the Rock & Worship Roadshow, Tyler told me that this was really hard for him watching the dad ahead of us loving his boys. Tyler has finally started grieving the loss of his dad, the loss of that father love that he has never received. A few nights ago, Tyler told me that he has been praying and talking with God a lot and that God told him that he is his father and that he loves him very much. This was different for Tyler but he has accepted it because he is craving that fatherly love - Thank you Jesus.

I gave my testimony a few weeks back (we recorded it first and it was presented last Sunday in church). I was approached by a church member telling me that my story touched both her and her husband closely as they too have experienced some of the pain as I have. I did not realize that my testimony was being shown. As I was sitting there in first service watching my testimony I had a vision of me sitting on Jesus lap as a little girl watching the ending of my story. Yes, it was the ending (it is over) and now I am in a new beginning. God has an awesome plan for me and I am looking forward to my new life.

God has shown me so much love this past year. For the first time I am realizing and feeling real love.